after thoughts of everything that i've said
and after thoughs of everything that i've done
the only thing left for you to do is just sit there and bite your tongue

verse 1
left out in the cold and i'm still asking the rain
is life worth living if i'm still masking the pain
i cant hide it forever my sleeves arent that long
a guilty conscience wont tell me what is right and what is wrong
this life is looking crazy as i'm gasping for a breathe
hesistating before i do so means that i'm asking for my death
between my love for hate, my emotions are conflicted
tasted the afterlife and can safely say that i'm addicted
it only takes 12 steps, well i'm already 6 behind
one of a kind, lost in a mind and i lost my place in line
but i think i'll just take yours, do you mind if i cut
and if you turn me down then i just might turn it up
now is it loud atleast enough for you to hear
the deaf say i'm def but i should keep my mind clear
hard to stear through a storm on the stage which i perform
cold as i've ever been but they say i'm getting warm

chorus
after thoughts of what i've said and thoughts of what I've done
the only thing left to do is play dumb
the only thing left to do is feel numb
after thoughts of what i've said and thoughts of what I've done
the only thing left to say is we're through
the only thing left to say is fuck you

verse 2
so why do i play life like a pawn in a game of chess
forward and never backward only way to explain the mess
pain and stress i guess was to hard for me to express
thats why people told me that i should just hope for less
but i'll keep hoping for more, or atleast keep hopin
easier said then done when staring at a door thats closing
but looking through the keyhole i almost see the light
squinting oh so hard i see that its really not that bright
atleast not as much as it used to be
finally opened the door and i was a little more than confused to see
death looking so helpless, i think i saw him crying
told me he never lived then told himself that he was dying
well that sounds so similar to my own situaution
the voices tell me pills help with mental stimulation
an observation that i never wanted to make
all i needed was a minute to take now heres the break

verse 3
never see my shadow unless he wants to chase me
dont look in the mirror, i know that he wont face me
thoughts become tasty oops i ate them all
stuffing my face was the beginning to my fall
and with a price on pain i've got twice to gain
punch the sun in his face and be nice to the rain
explain how i got no ideas or shit to trade
only cigarettes and a lighter but i keep my ace of spades
and texas makde me hold em and 2's are staying mild
when i looked inside myself i saw the color gold and mild
this child is a problem worse as i got older
abandoned your reality and turned my coldest shoulder
how do i express feelings that cant even be explained
never wanted to talk with you, thats why i never complained
about this disease waiting for a worm to bite the hook
suicide became a dream and he helped me write this book

Hook repeat 2x:
well what if i did this or what if i did that
well what if i took the time to get my head back
on track but i can still hear the train
what do i do next, fuck it,it's all the same