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about

Once upon a time, I was rapper/producer Raw-Ill. I was strictly into underground hip hop and trying to do what I could with it. Out of all of that came these demos - Written & Recorded around/between 2003-2005. There is little to no vocal effects, most of the verses were done all the way through without stopping, and they were pretty much finished the same night they were recorded. A lot of mistakes and what not but - well, I am still proud of these tracks and so I am sharing them with with whoever the hell is reading this. So, without further ado, this is me from when I was 18-20 years old. All beats and words by me. Hope you like them.

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released June 29, 2014

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DeadBeat Toledo, Ohio

Rapper/Producer turned Writer/Filmmaker/Composer, R.W. Martin's music, under the alias of Deadbeat, ranges from all varitites of Hip-Hop instrumental, Electro, Soundtrack Scores, Experimental, Industrial, EDM, 80's Synth Revival, and whatever else he can mash together. Sometimes using samples, sometimes all original - Deadbeat music is always unique & waiting to show you new worlds. ... more

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Track Name: Shakespeare
Lyrics -

intro:
Raw-Ill, finally
bringing to life, The Archives

Practically, a tragedy, but actually
I was just in tune with my reality

verse 1:
and from an open window on a castle balcony
I praise my love for hip hop and all the hate that keeps attackin me
Whipped like a horse dragging pains as a carriage
with no self-esteem there's no way I feel embarrassed
cause i've been back stabbed and i've felt betrayal
but it's all part of the story, I was destined to fail
and i've seen the future by living in the past
the only doubt I have is in the shadow that you cast
so i'll fight for my love until the day that I die
cause if hip hop is dead well than, so am I
and i'll try to breathe life into my one time passion
with the only breathe that I have left to ration
and is this pen floating in my concentration
some sort of hallucination, more like my imagination
is anything real, am i a part of the scene
hamlet, macbeth, and raw-ill on your magazine

chorus(2x):
cause i'm a dark superhero just fightin for the cause
nobody understands me and i'm gettin no applause
and when the plot grows thick it shows all my tragic flaws
and i swear to god shakespeare wrote my life

Verse 2:
I used my life as a way to explain the metaphor
but never let a whore set a score and i'm now i'm bettin more
chips on the only square peg in a round table
cut the cable to leave your situation stable
unable to even deal with my capacity
as i continue battling demons with no strategy
then take my own family plus a ship of men
as poison disperses from the tip of my pen
I must blast myself, to fulfill my destiny
evil grabs hold but wont let'em get the best of me
I tried to do right with all the rules that you gave me
death obviously was the only way that you could save me
and frankly,i think I like it better this way
I always said that I never wanted to stay
so if it's ok, i'll just slip into the darkness
shakespeare told me death to would be a hardship

chorus(2x):
cause i'm a darksuperhero just fightin for the cause
nobody understands me and i'm gettin no applause
and when the plot grows thick it shows all my tragic flaws
and i swear to god shakespeare wrote my life

Verse 3:
If only it was easier for me to start dyin
I'll never live forever but I guess I'll die tryin
but is it worth it to try, why ask why
when silence is what you get when they try to reply
so why do you ignore me, i'm just a word smith
who works with a dialect, say you never heard of it
and to really understand, you have to read between the lines
the hole is in the stage as well as in your minds
go ahead and jump through it, i showed you how to do it
one chance for life bitch, you just blew it
so go ahead and keep acting, make me start laughing
if shakespeare were alive today he'd be rapping
break dancing on the floor, graf writing on the door
getting pulled over but what the fuck for
i'm a writer and a poet, but looks will never show it
and from what i can see i guess you'll never know it
Track Name: Afterthoughts
after thoughts of everything that i've said
and after thoughs of everything that i've done
the only thing left for you to do is just sit there and bite your tongue

verse 1
left out in the cold and i'm still asking the rain
is life worth living if i'm still masking the pain
i cant hide it forever my sleeves arent that long
a guilty conscience wont tell me what is right and what is wrong
this life is looking crazy as i'm gasping for a breathe
hesistating before i do so means that i'm asking for my death
between my love for hate, my emotions are conflicted
tasted the afterlife and can safely say that i'm addicted
it only takes 12 steps, well i'm already 6 behind
one of a kind, lost in a mind and i lost my place in line
but i think i'll just take yours, do you mind if i cut
and if you turn me down then i just might turn it up
now is it loud atleast enough for you to hear
the deaf say i'm def but i should keep my mind clear
hard to stear through a storm on the stage which i perform
cold as i've ever been but they say i'm getting warm

chorus
after thoughts of what i've said and thoughts of what I've done
the only thing left to do is play dumb
the only thing left to do is feel numb
after thoughts of what i've said and thoughts of what I've done
the only thing left to say is we're through
the only thing left to say is fuck you

verse 2
so why do i play life like a pawn in a game of chess
forward and never backward only way to explain the mess
pain and stress i guess was to hard for me to express
thats why people told me that i should just hope for less
but i'll keep hoping for more, or atleast keep hopin
easier said then done when staring at a door thats closing
but looking through the keyhole i almost see the light
squinting oh so hard i see that its really not that bright
atleast not as much as it used to be
finally opened the door and i was a little more than confused to see
death looking so helpless, i think i saw him crying
told me he never lived then told himself that he was dying
well that sounds so similar to my own situaution
the voices tell me pills help with mental stimulation
an observation that i never wanted to make
all i needed was a minute to take now heres the break

verse 3
never see my shadow unless he wants to chase me
dont look in the mirror, i know that he wont face me
thoughts become tasty oops i ate them all
stuffing my face was the beginning to my fall
and with a price on pain i've got twice to gain
punch the sun in his face and be nice to the rain
explain how i got no ideas or shit to trade
only cigarettes and a lighter but i keep my ace of spades
and texas makde me hold em and 2's are staying mild
when i looked inside myself i saw the color gold and mild
this child is a problem worse as i got older
abandoned your reality and turned my coldest shoulder
how do i express feelings that cant even be explained
never wanted to talk with you, thats why i never complained
about this disease waiting for a worm to bite the hook
suicide became a dream and he helped me write this book

Hook repeat 2x:
well what if i did this or what if i did that
well what if i took the time to get my head back
on track but i can still hear the train
what do i do next, fuck it,it's all the same
Track Name: Chicken Scratch
verse1
what if my words were worth, the paper that i use
dead presidents i abuse, people i confuse
always seem to lose cause i know i never win
pass forever in a clever grin i know i never sin
abe and george together in my wallet as bookmark
larger bills on the outside only make me look hard
book smart to the extreme, i have a dream
of opening the curtain and exposing this scene
plot and scheme the only way i know now
wouldnt went legit but i didnt even know how
the low brow of the gutter slowly winked at me
need to know what he thinks or what he thinks of me
drinks his tea when its time with a lump of coal or 2
swollen view of the exchange rate that he's walking through
stalking you for a penny, all you have is a quarter
be a big supporter but aint got nothin for her

x2 chorus 1
well rhymes are a penny and i guess i'm flat broke
no imagination i'm just a bad joke
pockets full of change but theres nothing i can lend
mental currnecy isnt good enough to spend

verse 2
still pretend that its alright, when i know that its not
undercover cop hot at the rhyme spot
time got, too fast, and now i've lost my count
stole my piggy bank for a song of the same amount
claim about how you got skill with a song i wrote
cost a blue note but u gave the world a new quote
true ghosts dont write, not the ones i see
unhealthy to think that know one ever really felt me
or helped me when all they do is just laugh at him
ran out of nickels and everyone's out rappin him
strappin him down to the bottom of his coffin
creates a catch phrase to get the whole crowd applaudin
starts with "uh huh" and leads to "come on"
tellin us he wont stop but that shit is just a run on
and if rhymes were a penny then i guess mine are free
cause i aint seen dime so i know that they must be

x2 chorus 2
Well if rhymes were a penny then i'd be flat broke
every song i make would just be a sad joke
well atleast they're all laughing, there laughing at me
sittin by myself wondering what the happened to me

verse 3
it wasnt hard to put two and two together
put a mic in my hand and i'll rhyme in all the weather
unlike you, you untalented slut
staring at the mic like you should pick up
should i lend you some change or buy myself a hit
never quit and come equipped with an extra rhyme for you to spit
but if i can just spit rhymes then i'd spit em all at you
clear view of the hole in your head that i can clearly see through
me too they shout cause they dont wanna lead
they wanted to beat my ass and nobody disagreed
i need to grow some talent if i wanna be good
and i'll have to spend a fortune just to be understood
so the crowd starts booin, askin what does he know
but still i freestyle like i just robbed a casino
and leave no trace for you to come track me down
its called the underground cause it dont wanna be found

chorus 3 x2
well if rhymes were a penny and i was flat broke
a dawg never would've heard what this cat spoke
chicken scratchin on the table cause i'm that abstract
on track in the back tellin the world how your wack

if rhymes were a penny, if rhymes were a penny

i want one, no four, just give me the whole store

if rhymes were a penny, if rhymes were a penny

i'll take ten, no fourty, just enough to support me

if rhymes were a penny, if rhymes were a penny

i'll take a hundred, no a million, enough to touch the ceiling

if rhymes were a quarter, if rhymes were a quarter

i'd only charge a penny cause i got too damn many
Track Name: Broken Sidewalks
Verse:1
stranded between the moon and the horizon
But my soul wasnt down with disguisin
truth inside a bag, same one that he kept the lies in
martha stewart told me that my stock in death is rising *
as suprisin as it all might have been
my mind finally opened up and let me use a pen
so i could write a word to describe how i feel
on the subject of knowing that life isnt real*
so i deal on a day to day basis
nameless until you see that I am faceless
chase this dream into the depths of my soul
we never got along until he swallowed me whole*
i could see inside myself and discover who i am
understand that reality is just a scam
evil plan in a gold chain with a chrome tooth
fast like a bullet changing clothes inside a phone booth

verse: 2
looked inside myself and saw a soul bleeding me dry
he was needing to cry and he was kneeling to die
healing inside, atleast thats what i was saying
everytime they'd want an answer not even worth replaying*
i cant even understand how i broke down
I got low mileage but whos the joke now
laugh and point your fingers its all the same
sometimes my parents would forget my real name*
but i just shrug it off cause i dont really care
go ahead and stare, talk with me if you dare
my skin starts to tear falling apart at the seam
still looking for talent, the only eye in team*
my dream was a nightmare and i never even knew it
tried to do it,but you told me that i blew it
so i speed into whatever stretch imagination
just broke down,no longer have a destination*

Chorus:
Quarters dont work on a broken payphone
soul broke down in a tow away zone
running from the lies and I have to stay stoned
broken sidewalks doesnt know the way home

verse:3
i've got correct change and still I get nothing
Still looking for the pain that i'm supposed to be confronting
something buried itself next to my brain
Cause part of me is dead and the other parts insane*
complain all the time about how i feel like shit
stuck in a pit and think i'm gonna quit
cause each day is a new tattoo on my conscience
forcing me to believe that i will never really accomplish*
anything at all worth bragging to my friends
life's a rollercoaster but i'm wondering when it ends
i guess that all depends on the ups and downs
smiles and frowns while shattering sounds*
of silence echoing in the halls of my reality
mad at me but glad to see in the right lane of tragedy
i switched to the left but there was nothing left could do
crash head on into life and i dont know who to sue
Track Name: Last in Line
Verse 1:
My rhymes are outta the park like Mcguire on ephedra
I know you wanna rap but there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna let ya
because the chrisis is, I hold the mic inside the tightest fist
now you're cryin my name all the way to your psychiatrist
even he thinks you're the nicest bitch to try and hold your own
your rap career was over before you touched a microphone
and ever since you started, i just stop listening
cause you sound more retarded than a deaf mute whistling
just cause your music aint good enough for me
doesnt mean you cant fuck dailey on mtv
or get shutdown by mp3 dot com
the only reason i like you is cause you got a hot mom
i still think you suck, knowing that she does to
good versus bad is like me versus you
Still I ask a few witness to explain what they saw
an ill as fuck cat that likes to spit raw

Chorus:
Ahead of my time, gotta flow, even though I'll be dead in my prime
Last in line, but i'll be the first to blast a rhyme
Optimus prime, out of his mind, one of a kind
but ain't nobody's rap's outlastin mine

Verse 2:
I blast hard with a verse that's stronger than teflon
say you wanna rap but better watch who's toes you step on
cause i wreck on emcees like a demolition derby
while you're battlin clouds in a dreamland like curby
but dont be upset, i know that I'm a threat
hazard to your health but aint even touched a mic yet
i'll film your death and direct like kubrick
while your girlfriend complains about your toothpick
she needs a new dick but shes a tale from the crypt
and milli vanilli luaghed when your fuckin tape skipped
i could listen to you rap but i write to change the subject
friends you're tight but never do that shit in public
cant even talk straight without gettin confused
bitch i'm the one who gave the red and white they blues
I call it wack cause it aint rap or hip hop
you couldnt even rock the house at a denny's pit stop

Verse 3:
mini thugs wanna rap but you know i dont condone it
this aint baskin robbins and you aint the flavor of the moment
just keep laughin and you'll see what'll happen
dyslexia's a problem and not a style of rappin
i'll spit nastier shit than Kodiak bear
call a bitch out at a show like I knowhe back there
and i throw out the insults but get no answer
he's already on stage as a fuckin back up dancer
I'll battle anyone who dare call themselves a pacifist
laugh and diss this passionless half-a-bitch
cock back and watch me as I crack his lip
until he's mad as this, slash his wrist and him practice it
and fuck anybody who raps just for a check to bank
like cats filled with more shit than a septic tank
when it starts to overflow, your rhymes will hit the fans
cause your parents will be the only ones sittin in the stands
Track Name: Midnight Oil
Verse 1:
with only broken bones and shattered dreams
life stands still and nothing is what it seems
i find myself sitting with twiddling thumbs
while my heart beats down to the sound ofmatching drums
thinking of different ways to help me fall asleep
with little bo peep telling me to count her sheep
but thats all i can do, theres nothing to accomplish
cant remember anything dont know if i'm even conscience
well what if i was, it wouldnt change a thing
still believe lies that any dream could bring
and first i'll hit the notes and then i'll hit the pipe
finally i'll hit myself because it's just my type
flipping channels of ideas, maybe one will speak
forming patterns with a slow and hateful leak
soaking everything in sight until the answer is clear
my theory on the chopping block, ready to disappear

chorus:
help me with my problem, it's sleep depervation
burning midnight oil is my only motivation
on location for cerebral stimulation
telepathy, starvation, distant like creation

verse 2:
If dreams were real then i've died a million times
lost my way once before for not following any signs
like when knowledge replaces logic, and now i'm a suspect
i must object can we change the subject
i'm sleeping but i'm awake, awake but still dreaming
thoughts of the unconscience would show me a different meaning
and i'm talking to myself because theres no one elese around
once was lost but now i'm found at the bottom of the barrel i was heading down
I'm having too much fun on a slide that never ends
always down and never up but i guess that all depends
ideas i held inside in hopes that i might grow
or die slow with a tight flow feeling micro
scopic, stop it, grab the needle never drop it
change the topic and still see no profit
for i can see the truth but need no proof
that death is just a dial tone in a disconnected phone booth

Verse 3:
If sleep could be personified, i'd become a mourner
living a lavish life inside my favorite corner
seeing pictures in the dark that i cant see in the light
prisms of color futures never looked so bright
blinding perceptions that are all lying dormit
waiting til you have enough time to afford it
recorded through my ram but seen on the monitor
on the internet and now you're all on top of her
can't just listen you should learn how to feel
a distinguished line between a dream and what's real
outcome disasterous, system collapses
whos the fastest to drown with the masses
this mask is a way to hide from society
so i can criticize and not be told to do it quietly
i might be hearing an altered complication
just a demonstration of mental masturbation
Track Name: Illtypawriter
verse 1:
Draw my guns out quick as I empty the whole clip
I've already won you haven't begun to spit
and if you dont spit then I guess that you swallow
wanna grab the reigns but only have the brains to follow
when rhymes are airborn and rappin is contagious
outrageous ain't no way that you can upstage this
dont wanna be famous, its not in my priority
and I wont cry if your label is ignorin me
cause to me, your label don't even exist
cause to me, rhymes are in the mind and not the wrist
and this one here, is going through your head
space between your ears means that you're brain dead
and you better lean back or you just might drown
give me a demo, i wont play that like homey the clown
cause i'm so raw compared to most emcees
i leave 'em all burned like blank cd's c'mon

chorus:
obviously, technology, is stoppin me
from porperly steppin akwardly you're cowardly
supportin this monopoly, logically
we're all the devils property so put a stop to me
cause i'm an ill type writer, an i'lltypawriter
ill type writer i'm an illtypawriter

Verse 2
Raw-Ill, been called a loner, make you a blood doner
a step up in the evoluton of a stoner
cells react with thc to put me in the zone
make the microphone melt like an ice cream cone
i cant help you out, it just happens naturally
deeds done so well that the whole worlds mad at me
and i havent peaked yet but maybe i will later
for now i wish that god would learn to use the fader
and i see myself a couple brain cells lighter
thought I was a lover but rap made a fighter
like servin emcees a case of arthritis
it's punishment for thinking you could ever bite this
then recite this to your friends as if it were yours
I can tell that you're phony cause it's seepin out your pores
spit the same bar like a record on repeat
then try to compete with raps that aint even complete

Verse 3
I'm a stubborn cat about to react and crack
on contact to end your contract with a bomb track
lookig for a happy place but landed here instead
been dead since the first rhyme that turned my grin red
my goal is to express, never to impress
sorting through ideas cause this room is such a mess
and confess to the paper each and every secret
hope to myself that he'll never learn to speak it
dont dare repeat it, that wall has ears
stealing any and all ideas that he hears
then disappears and is never heard from again
until my song is stolen and appears at top ten
with an action pack to blow out your place
witnesses said it was a punch to the face
so that's why they're bleedin, hell yeah that's why
fans all reply that this cat is fly
thanks i try even though i dont need to
cause emcees that i face might as well be see through
Track Name: Writer of a Lost Art
verse 1:
using only rocks and gravel as i record my travel
talking with myself whe suddenly i start to babble
making no sense, i dig through what i've found
it's reminents of a sound simply called the underground
my heart could only pound forcing diesel in vains
i'm all night searchin workin my brains
with hunger pains i can still grab the pen
cause it's an art to be one of the top ten
especially when rappers have no talents
should be writin music instead of checks and balance
still i'm playing artifacts that i found within the sand
no overused logos never heard of a name brand
this notebook is more than just words on paper
hisory being aborted into a lifesaver
now or later,well the sooner the better
before hip hop leaves me in a Dear John letter

chorus:
and i remember the day when music was a form of art
i say that i'm an mc, they say its not the normal part
now i'd have to agree but for reasons unlike yours
see i'm a writer, beyond the retail stores
fuck your record label, i'm not one of your whores
see i'm just a writer of a lost art
outsider with a small part
and i can't let you go til let you know
that this (this) wasn't (wasn't) part of the show

verse:
what can i sacrifice with nothing left to offer
words that i can slaughter cause they're mine and i'm the author
lived it, remembered it, and then i wrote it down
walked in the echo of a hollow and broken sound
i can dig through crates to the center of the earths core
still not find a reason why we work and it just hurts more
In a world war, disaster blasting through the ashes
sifting through the past is as truthful as the masses
my glasses reflect, solar energy connect
to chin check emcees that've already been wrecked
pealed back a layer to reveal what was lost
money blurred emotions just to deal with the cost
and why exploit feelings as a form of entertainment
that's better off bleeding next to me here on the pavement
hidden in the basement, underneath the floor boards
rackin up the score boards by throwin out some more swords
kickin up dust to the wind, spittin up, bust with a grin
showin all these rappers i can cuss as much as them
and with my only friend, any drug's his name
i'll revive the music for the love of the game

Verse 3:
scribbling rhymes on the wall, filling every crevice
reading revolution and how they wouldn't let us
speak so free on a m-i-c
say what i want and be what i want to be
typically, these crates can only hold their wieght
but so far they havent even stood up straight
it's too late to turn around and go home
to close to the mystery of rockin a microphone
searchin for an outlet somethin please work with me
pulling out the fuses picking through all the circuitry
why certainly, but not for long
left your head ajar until i could finally right a wrong
or write a fight song, just to feed my anger
species of wirters breathing in all the danger
no stranger to the power of loudly spoken words
truth is logic in which the writer preserves
in a sexy song with curves for DJ's to seduce
sucking out the DNA and trying to reproduce
a style of music that might die after i do
and i'm going to live forever or atleast i'm gonna try to
Track Name: Pain is Pleasure
chorus:
rain is weather and i'm wantin it to pour
well pain is pleasure so keep beggin me for more
chains and leather just arent for me
but bring it to the party and i guess we'll see

verse:
It's Raw-Ill, bitch, style not a name
can't complain casue i'm just not the same
and you say you hate rap, well i do to
hip hop is the way comin through with somethin new
and i expect respect cause i'm givin music depth
while mainstream artists say fuck the concept
but i light a spliff and hope i never write a hit
i'm at a height to spit and i just might fight a bit
ot quite legit, cause it's not on my agenda
pop music sucks and i'm not sorry if i offend ya
cause you have no taste and cant even embrace'em
with cotton mouth worse than casey casum
the billboard charts aint a list of hits
it's a hit list for those deserving pistol whips
shit the hits and it's still on the tip of your lips
but go ahead and get the last few sips

verse:
high tides on a day with an empty crowd
i breathe hip hop and i can say that i'm proud
i say it loud when i cuss and swear
and piss in public cause i just dont care
i see that glare, you look pretty upset
but i can only laugh and have no feelings of regret
let me know if you feel any or anything at all
and if anything should happen, i've already got my ear up to the wall
i guess i'm somethin original not too subliminal
lookin at me like i'm your typical criminal
but this is new, hip hop had to improve
make me wanna throw down, go ahead bust a move
cause you cant bust a rap and i think that its wack
i already attack while you're thinking of a comeback
so just step aside and let the pro take control
dont even bother spittin the rhyme that you stole

Verse:
I'm a type of cat that wants pat to say jack
oops, did i say that, still waitin for the playback
better stay back, cause i swing for the fences
destroy your senses and leave you defenseless
and you say it hurts but theres pleasure in pain
only words can apply that kinda pressure to your brain
not yet insane, i'm still a work in progress
often obnoxious pickin up and throwin objects
i'm constant like an everflowing fountain of youth
spoutin the proof in the valley of a mountain of truth
found in the roof of my mouth wide open
died smoken that same words that i was soaked in
i'll drench the paper until drips outta my backpack
3 years away from black jack, hit me and i'm a crack back
almost as flat as the rat pack but it's no excuse
sit back, relax and take the abuse
Track Name: Those Beautiful Lights
I remember the night i went to be with the wind
and i when i woke up i was a ghost in the world that i had lived in
opened my eyes to the bright sting of the sun
feeling a sudden urge that just wants to get up and run
not for fun it's because i've never fealt this way
i'm compelled to stay i never dealt with this dismay
i can't smell the decay but i'm trying to catch a glimpse
of life or death or better yet the apocalypse

such a crock a shit an answer needed to be found
my heart was beating faster, faster than the speed of sound
sixth sense tingling and now all i can see is evil
in the middle of a city and all i can see is people
i stare into the masses even though everything's a blur
nobody had a face impossible to tell who they were
only one of them stood out, a kid probly in his teens
angry at life cause it wasnt what he saw in his dreams
stood and watched his every move as time kept going
the wind kept blowing and the traffic kept flowing
but why was he chosen, but then again why was i
couldnt grasp the situation so why bother to try
wanted to cry cause i knew inside he was pleading
that the world understand that inside he was bleeding
wanted to sit down too confused to even think
but we were face to face before i could even blink
or atleast thats what i thought at first
until i saw his identity and now this place hurts
he had no eyes,nose, or mouth only a set of ears
that disappears with each painful word that he hears

next thing i know the crowds are all gone
and the sky begins to look as if all the clouds were drawn

then erased and slowly wiped off the page
darker still of the night from the inside of my cage
and with the skies almost black they we were in the rain
i watched the world slowly washed away his pain
it dripped down his clothes, puddles at a time
slowly flowing towards me and soon his pain was mine
seeping through my existance altering perception
digging through veins feeding my infection

not showing any reason, not even a hint
my mind can only sprint as both my eyes squint

and with no sound at all it took a hold of my vision
these beautiful lights are simply a composition
fluttering in the myst of a red sunset
knowing that this dream wasn't quite done yet
this was a sign, something lingers in the message
but i could never find an answer, with a million guesses
they burned my eyes with dancing flames
i could only watch, not even think of changing frames
because these lights, these lights, surrounded everything around me
all i could hear was my own heart pounding
sounding like an earthquake ready to skip a beat
adrenaline shot my soul to the sky and then it hit my feet
finally at my peak but it wont stop there
all these beautiful lights, how could they not care


and i look back at the man, still unable to speak
the beauty of the situation made my knees weak

he wasnt even talking but i could hear his words
telling me to be still so i could gather my nerves
the rain started pouring, coming down harder
realizing my position to hopefully grow smarter
still watching him as hes looking at me
started to fade away into the empty sea
and as he became a ghost, i became a man
with the quickness of distraction i can finally understand

that this man was me but so was the ghost
neither of these seem to bother me the most
all the pain that i fealt and the beauty that i saw
were signs from a future only my mind could draw
it all came from me, pouring out of my skin
i just needed a medium to let this life begin
and when i woke up from this dream, early one morning
I bumrushed the world without any warning
and it was all because of those

chorus x3:
beautiful lights floating through the pouring rain
millions of colors hoping to ignore the pain
the more things change the more they stay the same
except this time i'm not afraid to play the game
because of those
Track Name: Home (Dying Man)
verse 1:
a beautiful night disrupted by devilish people
clouds circling in their place feeding their selfish evil
respitory system crashing, thoughts after collapsing
the last thing i heard was the murderer keep laughing
watching violent air slowly escape from each lung
with heaven unsung breathing off the tip of my tongue
feeling every wound spilling forth life support
and i'm painting new lines on this basketball court
they're just standing around saying my cut looks unhealthy
staring into eyes knowing that none of them could help me
oh, what a place for games but this one isn't fun
saw the smoking gun and the law says that i'm done
first it took my breathe, then my ability to move
a million thoughts about death but would it kill me to improve
i'm not in the mood but then again i never am
succeeding in life was never part of the plan
but neither was death and i guess it never is
the world still within my reach, left only to reminisce
remember this face cause you'll never see it again
fades away like the ink from this invisible pen

chorus:
the simplest of minds will eventually talk
it's a shame to see our lives being outlined in chalk
but this is now my home, is there a place for my hat
let me take off my shoes so i can just sit back
relax, now i'm free of cares
going up the stairs in thehome of unanswered prayers

verse 2:
as everything around me slowly goes the distance
i've lost everything except a feeling of resistance
for instance all colors are gone and now i live in the dark
waiting an eternity for the lights to finally spark
and when they do, i cant say i know what to expect
but so far the only thing that i fealt was regret
maybe i could've done more or helped out a bit
but how could i do that when i always feel like shit
well it doesnt matter now and it never really did
my only excuse for being lazy is I was another silly kid
i'm tired of waiting for my fate to be decided
inspired by hating the taste of being united
where am i going, up or down i'm all around
squinting and staring just trying to find the ground
good or bad right or wrong, now it's only a direction
saw that there was an end upon closer inspection

chorus: x2

verse 3:
waiting for eternity for fate to determine me
i'm hoping that a higher power might refer to me
they already murdered me and now i'm stuck in line
no sense of time in a waiting room of this kind
not sitting on clouds but i hear a constant thunder
souls rejected to hell when will they call my number
this rooms getting hotter starts spinning like a chopper
thinking of a heart attack but why even bother
i'm already dead so how can i feel the flames
death seems like another one of the parkers brothers games
the walls are turning red and faces seem to be morph
and form a pattern i'm now trying to absorb
i've slipped into hell without even being told
those maniacal bastards how could they be sobold
why am i holding a shovel and lifting heavy rocks
sweating puddles in a place so blistering hot
i knew this would happen but you could've atleast told me
that demons were the only ones strong enough to hold me
Track Name: Cue The Music
verse 1:
critics said this was a trash can masterpiece
with disaster speech my pen'll be the last to cease
atleast overpopulation has decreased
since suicide's the only conclusion we could reach
please don't preach cause i don't believe in confession
my first impression comes from an akword direction
perception of my objection stands between lines
it's the same shit happening a thousand times
but still i try and remain ill at ease
please cure me of all the pain and the disease
the slightest breeze could carry me away
with demons poking at me they'll bury me anyway
not in a friendly way even though they're wearing smiles
with shovels carrying piles while tearing me through miles
it's not just a song it's things that i should say
watch the rope sway, hope and pray, that i can cope with the day
i stay in check through my notepad, this throw back
and i know that i need some light if i want my head to grow back
i need a camera to film the sky before it goes black
and i need some action so tell me where the hoes at
ready to roll film to entertain the crowds
but like the family circus, my thoughts are in the clouds

chorus:
and with all that said & done go ahead and cue the music
see the play button but dont know how to use it
look around, this ain't the place to be
only yellow tape and the blood of an enemy
he was acting unfriendly tried to offend me

verse 2:
cause i didnt do shit,so i get no credit
wrote it never said it cause i knew i wouldn't regret it
it's so easy to see when it's all right there
and i'll keep it that way just to keep things fair
go ahead and talk shit but I hope you read the program
i'll rap for food if i have to cause i bow down to no man
even if it was the end theres no way that i could sell out
tell major labels eat a dick and get the hell out
i dont need russel simmons to make me a def jam
pickin it up where it started and i feel like i'm the best man
i'm less than perfect but i thinks it worth it
to dig for an answer whether or not i should unearth it
i'm startin to breathe heavy so i try and stand still
another body decapitated heading for the landfill
explosion of a crash site where angels slowly burn
looking back i realized the point of no return
i stepped to side and waited for my cue
as much as hate it, i'm one of the priveleged few

verse 3:
cause i paint pictures even though my colors blind
my pen is red blue or black and not no other kind
some other time i might switch but it wont be soon
until i finally find a way to rap through a cartoon
and i wont handle barbara but i had to warn her brother
that the cartoon network was gang bangin her mother
and to keep the picture in frame i add a little tilt
colors ran, the paint spilt, all down the house that i have built
sit back down or else i'll have to use a rhyme
you cant fight a crime unless your rap's as tight as mine
at the speed of light, still in the range of my sight
like a star hoping for that miracle tonight
only living life as an idea for me to write on
fuck the pop culture cause i'm a writer not an icon
explode like a pipe bomb laced with cyanide
smoking cigarettes in a race to try and die
fight the lie with only broken sticks and stones
then comply to a being made with lonely open brick and bricks
and this time spent here, for now it's just a memory
i gotta go, cause no one will remember me

chorus: x2
and with all that gone and out of the way
open your eyes for the minute replay
but grab your shit cause the shows almost over
thank god, cause i'm tired of bein sober
Track Name: Who Wants To Kill a Millionaire
living in society where objects are material
feel like i need a gold spoon just to eat my cereal
wipe the sweat with a twenty but it wont erase the look
both eyes staring, i already bit the hook
drink your coffee, expect me to fill your cup
if you really wanted to change, you'd get a job and give that shit up
cause even a million bucks wont ever be enough
get off stage, your 15 fifteen minutes are up
an abrupt hault, on all your foreign contacts
deal with the devil without understanding the contracts
writing off your soul for a better tax return
breathing out only to help pass the germ
this isnt a game show and u cant phone a friend
contestants are scared to ever go home again
cause everybody in the world fell in love regis
they prolly believe him over spoken words from jesus
i dont believe this, an all expense paid trip
to the unemployment line cause i quit the day shift

so you wanna be a millionaire well it'll take more than 3 life lines
wanna get rich quick, bitch it'lltake more than 3 life times
all the money in the world, you still wouldnt know how to fight crime
how you gonna get shit done by sitting on the sideline
so who wants to kill a millionaire, i do,
cause you couldnt be as broke as me even if you tried to

the answer must be read in the form of a question
next contestant sitting in the back section
ready to play the price is right twice at night
cause we like to keep the game nice and tight
try to boost ratings for commercial appeal
sell out no matter how contraversial it feels
it's not reality it's just better editing
cancel your show then your life, it's all unsettling
never crediting those who really deserved it
tell me it's not my right, but i guess just reserved it
the clock is ticking so go ahead and spin the wheel
and if you're lucky enough you just might catch a steal
you better buy a consenant and then maybe a vowel
f u to pat sajack after i won a beach towel
dont have a cow, you havent won anything yet
the odds are against you and i'm not willing take the bet
filled with regret for taking door number 2
without the mystery box the crowd wouldnt know what to do
take it away johnny and tell em what they've won
a night with bob barker so you can try to make a son

i'll let vanna white light up the board for some rowdyness
wanna be the first contestant killed in front of an audience
keep your hands on the buzzer it's the daily doudle
no weaker opponets ever gonna pay me trouble
just act dumb while the world grow is growin older
not even 21 but i'm the closest without going over
this isnt for pride, you just want a new car
cant trust the crowd cause they're almost as stupid as you are
finally gone too far in trying to please the sponsor
and now you've turned into some kind of ugly corporate monster
getting suckers to answer questions that arent really that hard
while trebek acts smart reading answers off a card
theres so many prizes, based on what you wager
how about a months worth of service on your brand new broken pager
if thats not enough, how bout a trip to hawaii
paid for everything but thats there way of trying to buy me
without spending a dime there was a lesson to find
tempting me with a mountain of money to big to even climb
it was down to a final question, hoping what i say is right
this always end in death and i said what is life

i'd like to solve puzzle but the pieces never fit
they wanna see how far i'll go before i say i quit
lit my cigarette and made my way down the isle
took a commercial break you better not change that dial
i wont even smile even though i'm on tv
cause its not like anyone in the audience can actually see me
i'm in 3-d being displayed in color
making viewers at home want to hate one another
i stand at my podium body fully alert
that the crowd is there to help me do my work
but they're all just shouting as loud as they can
trying to carry his voice over the next man
survey says you suck with 3 red x's
trying to get answers out of dead contestants
Track Name: Stage of Life
Intro:
my reflection was a distorted image
life is just a scrimmage for death
under my heavy breath , so upset
cant feel the words when i only write them down
i bite the sound then tell myself to hide the frown
they're all around
staring at me from their seats
swear and laugh me off the streets
they never cared but please be prepared cause i'm not scared

Verse:
i'm just a little lost on the path that i have chosen
cant get a refund on the roads that i have stolen
i'm forced to move forth, but with no support
headin up north judgment from the court
so i appealed to the state then i sealed my fate
proceeded by myself as i concealed my hate
i lived life like a joke just to make you laugh
meant everything i said, it's too late to take it back

i tried to prosper by being true to myself
speak how i felt unlike everybody else
it was a burning feeling of hate and pride
stepped inside and slept then died

she slowly cried a tear i felt was mine
but maybe, maybe it was time
but i've thought about the world and how much it sucked
no sense of unity and now you're all fucked
as lame as the same, now you're out of luck

i can see the truth and how we need to change
they say that i'm strange, and that i'm deranged
so i arranged my depression as a form of art
loved hip hop but did't look the part

had the heart and a pen in my hand
never had a plan but now I understand
that to spill my feelings, i'd have to bare it all
tell you how I feel and you don't care at all
but i still kept going even though you walked out
knowing you have nothing better to talk about
and for those who stayed wishing they could help me
looking so depressed and feeling so unhealthy
so i took a chance and started out on my own
pretty soon i fell in love with a microphone

no longer alone, i've finally found partner
mary jane is a friend and helps me to grow smarter
and the night time, became the right time
to dig through the past for an answer that i might find
but never did, even though i tried my best
wish for something better when i lay my head to rest

chorus:
on the stage of life, my performance was to die for
closing my eyes to hide the tears only made me cry more
why lord, should i believe in u, u never believed in me
for as far as i can see, this life is half empty

and this my final vow as i take a final bow

Chorus:
interlude
chorus: